He was looking for a book of techniques for one-to-one fighting.

And he was right. He was in the wrong place, because my book does not get into fancy karate moves.

In my experience and research, the vast majority of violent situations can be avoided by following the advice in my book. The suggestions are easy to follow and require no physical strength–a benefit for women who may be frail or disabled.

Nonetheless, I agree that it is good for women to know fighting techniques when they are forced into physical confrontation. But I question how well a book can teach it. It’s not that there aren’t excellent books out there that show all manner of fancy fighting technique–and I can steer you towards some if that is what you want.

But fighting moves have to get into your bones. That is, you have to be so familiar with them that they become second nature. In actual physical confrontation, events move at lightning fast speed. By the time you’ve racked your brain for the next move, the fight is over.

Video is a little better, but what you really need to do if you want to learn fighting techniques is to practice under controlled conditions–in other words, take self defense classes.

In a self defense or a martial arts class, you’ll get the experience of kicking and punching. That can be a novel experience if, like many women, you were brought up to be ‘nice.’ Before enrolling and plunking down your hard-earned money, look to see what the school is teaching.

Elegant moves may be impressive, but if your purpose is defending yourself in a physical altercation, then you want the learning to focus on quick, simple, effective techniques.

Learning fighting techniques is good. But your first strategy for women’s self defense should always be prevention.

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Soooo, is your car up to it?

Have you had it checked lately? Some items to check:

• Cold weather puts a strain on car batteries. The one you have may work perfectly well in balmy temps, but what about times when the mercury dips below freezing?

• Are there any cracks in your hoses or your belts that could cause a breakdown at an inopportune time? As if there ever were a good time to break down?

• What about the tires? Are they showing excessive wear or uneven wear? You’ll want to replace them if the former is true and if the latter, you may need a realignment.

• And, of course, there is the antifreeze and other fluids. The oil should be changed every 3,000 miles in severe weather. Top off other fluids if necessary.

• When venturing out, make sure your cell phone is charged up and with you. And that your AAA or motor club membership is current. If you do get stuck, you want to make sure you can get help.

The periodic trek to a trusted service station or a self check if you can do it yourself can save you from a lot of grief and inconvenience. Which you don’t need when it is freezing and the wind is whipping.

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That means putting enough value upon yourself that you will value your right to safety over the possibility of doing harm to another. Carrying the mindset that your right to your life and bodily integrity is paramount will allow you to take whatever measures you need to survive.

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However, most experts feel that having a noisemaker on your person is an over-rated concept.  When you blow a whistle or set off a siren, you are banking on someone coming to your aid and that is not as likely to happen as you might hope.

The act of activating the alarm or blowing a whistle can take anywhere from 2 to 20 seconds, but the outcome of an attack is usually decided within the first 8 to 10 seconds. So, if the noise doesn’t work, you may be out of time before you can try other options.

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You have access to many everyday objects that can be used in a pinch with devastating effectiveness.

There are many advantages to using everyday objects as weapons.

They are easily accessible. This is important when most attacks are completed in seconds.

Everyday objects are non-threatening. The attacker is more likely to be caught off-guard by your use of a ballpoint pen as opposed to a knife.

If you are not comfortable with carrying and using more traditional weapons such as pepper spray or a gun, you probably would not think twice about carrying a couple ounces of cologne in a spray vial.

Unlike guns, no laws restrict your ability to carry a ballpoint pen or keys.

As any prison guard will tell you, with creativity and imagination nearly everything can be turned into a weapon.

In the event of attack, you want something you can use quickly and effectively.

Since you will not have time to rummage through your pocketbook, make it a practice to hold something in your hand that you can use to defend yourself.

Other everyday objects that can be effectively used as weapons defense include spray perfume or cologne.

Perfume or cologne in a spray vial can be used like pepper spray. Aim it at your attacker’s eyes. Then use the precious seconds to run.

Hot liquids thrown at your attacker’s face such as coffee and tea are effective, too.

Keys can be used to scratch a face, poke out an eye or stuffed into the soft tissue of his throat.

Throwing a coin away from you will distract your attacker for the few seconds you need for escape.

Lastly, a ballpoint pen can be jammed into his throat, groin, or eyes with devastating impact.

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“Fighting back” is a difficult and uncomfortable subject for many women to think about, but it does not have to be that way. The concept is easy to understand.  It’s your life or his comfort.  He has no right to be comfortable when he is assaulting you.

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Every situation is different and you have to use your best instincts. But in general, it’s a good idea to fight back when you find yourself in an attack situation.  Women who fight back are injured less often and are more successful in stopping the attack no matter what kind of attack it is.  They feel better about themselves afterwards too.

People who’ve never been in a situation where they wanted to fight often think that they couldn’t fight, but you will find, if you’re faced with a life or death situation, that it’s very easy to fight. But you need to know how to fight back in order for that instinct to be effective.  You need to break through that emotional barrier you’ve instilled and be confident that you have the ability to protect yourself.

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That will depend on your situation. But one tactic you can employ if there are other people around is to make noise.

Attract attention from anyone you can. The first thing he will say to you is “don’t scream or I’ll kill you”. He’s telling you exactly what will ruin his plan. Go ahead, ruin his plan — create a disturbance, scream, throw things, blow the horn.

If you think you should yell “fire” go right ahead. You can’t count on others coming to your aid, but you want to appeal to his fear of getting caught and make him think that someone could hear you and be coming.

I also like singing.  That’s right – sing.  Sing anything and sing it at the top of your lungs.  We especially like “The Star Spangled Banner” because if people see or hear you in the middle of a street singing the national anthem, they’ll look around to see who is crazy enough to be doing that.  Plus, your attacker will not want this type of attention and he will most likely flee at the earliest possible moment.

And a last tactic is to single out a passerby and shout something along the lines of “Hey you, in the blue shirt, call 911.” This will break through the passivity many people feel when they are not directly involved in a situation.

The tactic of making noise is an effective self defense technique and will get you and your attacker noticed.

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